Technology Rules For My Family

Recently we had a family meeting.  This was a first for our family, I am ashamed to say.  We have had intentions of doing this for a long time but I finally decided to put it on the calendar and scrape together some things I was burning to talk about and get the meeting done.  The meeting was a success, if I do say so myself, even if it went WAY overtime and my kids ended up staying up WAY past bedtime.  Sometime during the meeting my husband decided to take a picture and post it to Facebook.  Then the comments started that led me to making this post.  I had several people asking for my technology rules, which were only slightly visible in the post.  I could have just posted some better pictures but I thought I needed more explanation than that.  So here I go!  

Disclaimer: We have only been putting these rules into practice for 24 hours at the time of this post, so it could still completely fail.  We are a homeschooling family with very different schedules/expectations than your family (even if you also homeschool) so tweak it to work for you.

Here was my problem (I'm pretty sure I am not alone here): my kids get too much time on technology.  We define technology as anything that plugs in.  All of these items are not inherently bad.  My big worry is that I will unintentionally raise my kids to forget what it means to play outside and explore the real world (i.e. things that don't plug in).   I recognize that some technology items are even educational and creative in themselves, which has made it hard for me sometimes to draw a line and limit time they use these items.

Our rules before Sunday's meeting: We had already set rules in our house that they earned their tech time in several ways.  30 min for completing chores.  15 min for having a clean room.  15 min for practicing guitar for 30 min.  Over the summer we even gave them an hour for reading for an hour.  The first problem was that I had a really hard time keeping track of who had how much time.  Another problem was that they often decided they didn't care about the clean room or chores, and opted to read or practice guitar and just not get the other time.  Or they would not do any of it and find a way to watch a sister use her time, or just ask if they could play an educational game that would make it hard for me to say no (yes, I know that I am essentially creating this problem).  We needed to reset the rules and draw very clear lines as to what needs to be done before they pick up the tech, and what is considered "for school" and what is not.  I also decided to use some language that helped them see that cheating on their time was the same as stealing, and the consequences would match the crime.


SO, I started looking for rules online.  I found a ton of tech rule posts (I knew I wasn't alone!).   But none really fit my family.  So I read through the posts for inspiration and came up with my own list.  I also found this free printable that I used to make technology punch cards from.   I LOVE free printables!! 

Here are our tech rules, nothing fancy and the only way they will work is if I actually enforce them.

1. Technology is a privilege, not a right
2. You will receive a punch card on Sunday night
3. Once the holes are punched, your time for the week is up
4. You may only use your card once your chores are done and your room is clean
5. If you have any outstanding homework/schoolwork do not ask for time
6. If you go over your time, you will punch another hole
7. If you steal time you will punch 2 holes
8. If you have no more time left, you will lose time on next week’s card.
9. Watching your sibling means you punch your card too.
10. We can take time away as a consequence for poor behavior
11. You can get extra time for the following
1. Practicing Guitar = 15 min
2. Reading a non-school book for 1 hour = 30 min
3. Reading to one of the non-readers= 15 min

Other things that we talked about in the meeting I think will reinforce our commitment to the rules.  We spent a lot of time talking about the big picture.  We talked about what kind of family we want to be, and we allowed the kids to have some input.  More about family meetings in another post.  I am really excited we have finally started these meetings and that everyone seems to be on board.   

Feel free to use any or all of this, you may want to browse around pinterest to find other tech rules and create a list that works for your family.  The key is consistency and enforcement.  Time to put on my Tech Cop hat!

I failed before I succeeded.

I failed my first attempt to homeschool.  This takes a lot for me to admit... Many of my friends and family don't even know that I attempted to homeschool preschool for my two oldest girls.  The friends and family that do know either do not realize what a failure it was, or are kind enough not to remind me.  I failed for a couple of reasons.  Keeping this failure in mind, helps me avoid failure in our current home school.

The first reason for the previous failure was my husband wasn't totally on board.  He liked what we were attempting but it was my thing, and gave me something to keep busy with two littles at home.  As long as it didn't cost anything, it was fine for me to play school.  This time, he is not only on board but he is very supportive.  Our decision to home school came from a lot of prayer.  The funny thing is, he brought up the idea of home schooling without knowing that God had been working on me with the same idea. We realized that if this was God's idea, we better take in seriously.  

Another reason for failure the first time was I tried to do too much.  I had found a free online curriculum (letter of the week). The curriculum was great, but so full of great things, I tried to do them all.  Trying to do everything and pushing through even when my kids were not getting it, or not wanting to do it, lead to burnout at about the letter Q.  (To this day, my now 10 year old remembers that we only got to Q).   I didn't give myself and my girls enough grace.  I didn't give them enough credit for what they were learning, I was so worried about what they weren't getting yet.  We were all discouraged, so I just quit!

The final reason for total home school failure was that I tried to do it with little understanding or research.  I really didn't know this was a reason for the failure until I started to look into home schooling my elementary age kids.  This time, I researched extensively, I read books, any one I could get my hands on.  I read blogs, I found help.
I also found out that failure is part of the process.  Of course, I knew in my own mind that we learn through our mistakes... I guess I just forgot.  Now we fail from time to time, but instead of quitting, we adjust.  

Why do we home school?

This question comes up a lot... it's not a simple answer.
The immediate problem that we had at the time we made the decision to home school was that we were moving for the second time in a year and because we were only renting we knew there would be another move coming.  Continuity was being disrupted once again, and we were not completely sure of when the moving would stop.  The solution that home school offered was continuity.  They didn't have to start over every year.
Another problem we had was class size.  The girls went from being one of 22 to one of 32.  As a former teacher, this bothered me.  It became a real problem when I started noticing some issues with my then first grader's writing.  The teacher was overwhelmed, and could not tell me or even help figure out what my daughter's struggle was.  She wasn't a discipline problem and she was a good faker... so other than myself, nobody seemed to think there was anything wrong.
So these circumstances really pushed me to look at home school as an option.  I had always been attracted to the idea of teaching my own children.  After all, I was a teacher in my before kids life. However, I was afraid of failing my children some way.  When I began researching home schooling, it became apparent that my worries were unfounded.  Everyone worries about being a good enough teacher for their kids...I have an education and a background that should give me the confidence to overcome those fears.  Realizing this freed me up to really look at home school and discover if it would work for our family.
There are a few specific things that we really love about home schooling.  The flexibility in schedule, the opportunity to expand our children's education beyond standards set by the department of education, the teacher to student ratio, and the shared experience our kids have with us and each other are some of the biggest benefits.
The flexibility of the home school schedule is a HUGE benefit.  Our current state (WA) requires 180 days of instruction, just like the public school.  But we can use those 180 days at any time and in any way we want.  So rainy summer days become a school day easily, instead of a wasted day watching TV.  When I was pregnant with our little boy, we planned to take 4 weeks off starting mid-September for his birth (which ended up including a week long stay in the special care nursery).  The girls didn't miss an hour of school for it, we just started early and used some Saturdays.  We are planing a big move across the country in a few weeks.  Again, we will be pushing pause on the school year for a couple of weeks (though you can bet the drive will include some educational stops along the way).
We have also enjoyed going beyond what a public school education would include.  We have added Bible and character education to our curriculum.  Taking the opportunity to deepen their (and mine as well) understanding of our faith.  The girls are also starting Spanish lessons this year, an opportunity they would not have until later in our current school district.
Invaluable is the 1:3 teacher to student ratio of our home school.  Teaching my children has given me an insight into their learning abilities and struggles that I had not been able to see from outside of the classroom.  I understand now what my now 3rd grader's struggle is with reading and writing. I get to help her focus on her strength and the creativity that gets stifled in a large classroom.
The shared experience that all of the girls (1 year old boy is not yet being "schooled") have has brought them closer.  In the last year of public school I noticed that the girls would fight a lot when they came home but during extended breaks they were best friends.  They get along all the time now.  They are each other's best friend.  As a family unit, we just have more time together.  We spend fewer nights struggling through home work, because it's all homework, done during the day.  We go on adventures to explore something we are learning in school.  We look for educational value in everyday activities (something I wish I had done more of when they were in public school).

Home schooling fits our crazy family.  It works for us.

We are THAT family: We Home School.

First off, I want to apologize to our fellow home schooling families out there.  I was a judgmental public school teacher and public schooling mom.  I looked at home schooling families as kind of strange. I just didn't get it.  As a teacher in public schools, I had seen some bad examples of home school families.  As I moved out of teaching and into motherhood, I began to see some great examples of home schooling.  I saw kids who love to learn.  I saw families that know each other and get to spend many hours on adventures and in discovery together.  However, I still resisted the desire I had to be my children's teacher.  It took a few years and a set of circumstances to push me from public schooling to home schooling.
Home schooling is not the right choice for everyone.  And I have not flipped from judging home schooling families, to judging public school families.  It is an amazing thing that we have a choice in this country (a right that must be protected, by the way) and everyone's choice for their family must be respected.  So I can't understand why people on either side villainize the opposite side.  I know that our choice to step out of the mainstream has required us to have to defend our choice to friends and family, and I accept that task.  I am sure that because of my background in education, we probably get less judgement than other families, but it still comes.
I know that when we were researching the jump into home school, I benefited from many stories, blogs, books, conversations about and with home school families.  So my next few posts I thought I would explore our home school from the decision to take the leap to how our days go, maybe it will help another family looking into making the leap.