January 12, 2008

No Guilt Zone

I want to declare this a "No Guilt Zone" or NGZ :-). I think that we, as moms, handle a lot of guilt. The world hands it out to us pretty steadily. Guilt about how well we are parenting comes from the media, family, friends, coworkers, ourselves and probably other places I haven't thought of. We can be made to feel guilty about anything. From how much time we spend playing with our kids, to what we feed our kids and what toys we buy our kids, where and whether they go to preschool (Ooh that one hit a little close to home), etc. etc. I really can't sit here and list everything there is to feel guilty about when it comes to being a mom. I don't have the time, I have to go feel guilty about the mess in the toy room. Guilt is a joy thief. It is love's unseen enemy. And I believe, It can rob us of the joy that motherhood should possess.
So, it made me a little sad when a dear friend and mom mentioned that she felt a little guilty having read some of the things on this blog, like she wasn't doing things right. That is exactly what I don't want anyone to feel reading this blog. The reason I named it "Get Real Mom" is because sometimes I want to scream that when I hear and see all the things that I am doing or not doing that can make me feel like a failure as a mom. So here comes a shocker: I do not, nor does anyone else, have perfect children. I only write about my experience and I have hoped that some of you would like to contribute your experience as well. Do not feel guilty that Suzy was potty trained later than all her friends, or that you have given full juice to your two year old, or that you can't afford to put your kids in the extra curricular activities that they would like to do, or that your girls are the only ones that won't keep bows or pony tails in their hair (another one that hits close to home) or that you don't have a perfectly decorated nursery for your new baby, or whatever else they can dream up for us to feel guilty about. My point is, do not feel guilty if what has worked for some doesn't work for you. Take a deep breath, and release the guilt as you exhale. Say it with me "I will not feel guilty for this!"

2 comments:

Eric and Julie said...

Thank you Katie for your words of encouragement.

Anonymous said...

Good reminders, Katie! I was just dealing with this yesterday! I was feeling guilty about not meeting someone elses expectations for our homeschool. Your sweet mother-in-law reminded me that God is in control of what they learn, encouraged me that I'm doing enough and that, for goodness sake, I'm eight months pregnant! God knows I needed your encouragement and Sandy's.
Blessings, Kristi