September 11, 2008

First 3 weeks of school

I was so not prepared for our first school experience. I knew that it would be "hard." Because that is what people told me. But I really didn't KNOW how hard it would actually be. I haven't been able to even blog the last few weeks because I really didn't feel like I had any wisdom on the subject. I still don't really feel like I do. Since dropping my daughter off at Kindergarten I have fought the urge to take her out and home school her every day. I want her back! My mind and heart are in complete disagreement.
On the one hand, I feel like our time together has been shrunken so drastically. All of the sudden she is gone, ripped from my arms! It is truly heartbreaking when I think of how much we miss of her day.
On the other hand, though sometimes she wants to stay home (when she knows lil sis and I are doing something fun that day) she really seems to enjoy school. She has learned so much already in the last 3 weeks. Every waking moment at home she is practicing her letter writing and pretending school with her sister. I know that it is important for her to be in school at this time, at this age because she is truly ready. If I had waited, I am fully confident she would be bored next year and then we'd be setting her off on the wrong foot. She's getting what she needs, when she needs it. She also has a wonderful Christian teacher.

So, as I am the adult and have to learn to let my children go, I must endure the school year missing my child and trying not to get hurt over the fact that she only mildly misses me. This process of letting go started with childbirth and I guess will continue until she is married and moving thousands of miles away from me. (sorry mom) I think I now truly understand the heartache that we cause our moms. Heartache that I just have to get over, as our moms did.

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