May 20, 2013

Sometimes I Hate My Self Esteem.

UGHhh!  I have a confession to make.  I'm only strong on the outside.  If you get close to my inside, you would see that I'm mushy.  I guess I'm like a banana.  Yeah, a banana.  Strong peel, but mushy inside.  (Just go with it)

So I pride myself on being strong.  I don't let myself get hurt by other's decisions to be my friend or not.  I take pride in not playing emotional games with my friends or husband.  In other words, I avoid drama.  But sometimes, if I'm real honest, I get hurt.  I see friends make a decision to hang out and not ask me along (facebook is fun isn't it) and I start to hear voices in my head tell me it's because I'm not good enough.  OR maybe they know me too well and just aren't comfortable with my mushy inside.  My true self esteem starts creeping up on me.  I have a good cry.  Then I'm tough again.

If I'm being really honest with myself, it's not all about me anyway.  :-)

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