Overwhelmed.

Life is getting crazy.  I have to admit, I usually like standing on the sidelines.  I tend to busy myself with support jobs rather than taking a leadership position because I don't want the responsibility of whatever the situation is.  But lately, I have begun to put myself out there more.  I'm taking more risks, more responsibility.  This is both exhilarating and scary!  It has also exposed my vulnerabilities.  

I feel a panic attack coming on:

What do I think I am doing? (The baby just put the thermometer in the toilet.) How can I keep this going? (She did WHAT to her hair?) Who am I going to let down today? (We need to do more writing practice in school today) What if I am doing it wrong? (I have to call that client and see how they are doing?)  What if I offend someone? (I lost another customer and I don't know why.)  I know I am doing it wrong.  (I have two doctor appointments today and somehow have to fit ancient history in between appointments.)  I am too weak to deal with this.  (no a paper cut never killed anyone.) Something is going to come crashing down on me.  (Why won't they LISTEN to me?)  I am sure that every other homeschool mom is getting twice as much done as I am, I know because I see their perfect blogposts.   I know that I should be doing more to get my business built.  (but I need more time!!)

AHHHHAHAHAHAHHHH!!! 

Stop the madness!  Take a deep breath!  Have some tea!  <breathe> 

Somehow I will get to the end of the day and stand in awe of what I got done.   And collapse on the bed in utter exhaustion.  

Goodnight.